Spy around here!
by MarvelsOnlyFan
Summary: When the new RED Spy arrives from England, the team don't really approve. Why? She's a girl. 19 yr-old Beth has already made a bad impression on the law, wanted for the assassination of several people. Feelings haven't ever been her 'thing', But when she gets to 2Fort, she meets new enemies, new friends, and even a bit of romance. Sniper/FemSpy
1. Get over it!

(Beth's POV)

I stood outside the airport, looking for the large RED logo on the side of any of the forms of transport driving past. I keep my hood up, not wanting to attract too much attention, but then remembered I would seem more suspicious if I tried to hide.

My name is Beth, I'm 19 and already wanted for several attempted (successful I might add) assassinations.

Just over a week ago, somebody contacted me to invite me to join the Reliable Excavation Demolition, also known as the RED's. Apparently they've been fighting a war with the Builders League United, also known as the BLU's. When I heard I could go around killing the other team as much as I liked, without getting arrested, I immediately loved the idea. Even if they kill me first, there's this fancy 'respawn' which enables us to, well… respawn.

I heard a loud screech, and saw a large grey truck skid round the corner.

"DUMMKOPF" I look over to see a tall German man with dark hair shouting German curse words at the driver of the truck. I noticed he was wearing a long white and red lab coat, and when I looked over to the vehicle, I noticed the logo.  
"Excuse me?" I walked over to him, ever so slightly nervous to get too close to him. He turned around and looked at me with a questioning look on his face.

"You are?" He started to walk back to the RED land rover, not really bothering with me.

I cleared my throat and held out my hand. "Beth. I believe I'll be your new spy." He suddenly turned around, and shook my outstretched hand. "Hallo zere Elizabeth, Ich bin Medic! Good to meet you."

I smiled back at him. "Hello Medic. Nice to meet you too. My name's actually Bethany, not Elizabeth…"

He jumped into driver's seat, so I sat in the front passenger seat. "Entschuldigung. I have to admit I didn't imagine that you'd be so... young"

We spent the rest of the journey discussing our professions, and i quickly learnt he was the craziest doctor I'd ever meet. After about 3 or 4 hours, we arrived at 2Fort.

"Time to meet ze team..." He said, but he seemed almost worried about something. He looked at me and quickly answered the question as if he read my mind. "They don't exactly know zat your... female. Not all of zem vill be as... accepting as i have been. Not zat zere's anyzing wrong with you being a girl!" All of a sudden Medic appeared very shy, and quickly scurried into the messhall. "Everybody, ze new spy is here..." he beckoned for me to come in, so i put my hood down and strolled in with as much confidence as i could.

"Woah! Who let the freakin girl in here!"

"Scout! 'Ave some manners mate! I think she's our new spoi!"

"War is no place for you girlies. You hear me cupcake?!"

"Look at leetle teeny girl!"

"What just happened?!" the drunken man in the corner woke up and glared at me "What's the lass doin' 'ere?"

"That's it!" I pushed past Medic into the crowd of men. "I'm not a man. GET OVER IT!" The room suddenly fell silence apart from the young Bostonian.

"Go make me a sandwhich princess!" I grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the wall. "You want a sandwich? Maybe you'd like the special: Knuckles and pain!" I glared at him, and I could see he thought I was some sort of joke. I pushed him aside and turned around. "I'm Beth. I'm your new spy and I was offered this job for a reason. Any of you have a problem with my gender then you can keep it to yourself. So what do i call all of you?"

The tall man with the Austrialian accent stepped forwards. "You can call me Snioper. Good to meet'cha sheila." I saw a smile form on his face. At least some people have manners. He countinued. "The young man you just attacked is Scout-"

"I was going to introduce myself! You freakin moron!" The Scout started to sulk.

"As oi was saying... Scout, Demoman, Soldier, Engineer, Heavy" He pointed to each mercenary as he said their name. "You've already meet Medic and Py- where's Pyro?" A muffled shout could be heard from the other side of the door, and a short, stout figure wearing a gas mask burst into the room. "Found him! This is Pyro!" Pyro glanced at me, and all of a sudden started clapping, reminding me of a young child. He grabbed my hand and took me up to the corridor. He pointed to a room with a large fire painted on it. I went inside and sat down on the floor. It truly was scary, adorable sight. There were Rainbows painted all over the walls, and a large pink unicorn toy on the bed.

Suddenly Pyro handed me a piece of paper: 'Can you keep a secret?'. I nodded. Then he took of the gas mask.

A/N

So what does everybody think of my first real fanfiction? Beth is my real name, and the character is sort of based on me.

As for how many chapters this will have? I honestly don't know, but I think it will be quite a few. I'll just see what people think of it!

Also, this spy isn't French. She's English. Because I'm English. Deal with it.

Lastly: I. LOVE. REVIEWS. So please make constructive criticism if you feel it necessary. Bye :)


	2. BBQ

Then he took off his mask. Except the face I saw wasn't a man's face at all. A girl with pale skin and bright red hair stared back at me with pale green eyes.

"Igotreallyexcitedwhenisawtherewasanothergirlatthe basesoicanfinallytalktosomebody!"

"Slow down! I can even hear what you're saying!"

"Sorry I've just been hiding the fact I'm a girl for so long I don't want them to judge me or even get me fired. Hehe fire..."

This crazy Pyro was starting to scare me. But one question popped up in my head. "Wouldn't you want to get to know me before you told me something like this? I could go and tell everybody right now! Nothing is stopping me! Nothing!"

"I'm a very good judge of character. You wouldn't tell anybody." I stared at her in disbelief.

"You do realise, I'm a Spy? Like, go around and steal information to tell people Spy?"

"But... We're both girls... You wouldn't do this to me... Would you?" Her eyes had actually started to tear up.

"Fine! I won't tell anybody..." As soon as the words left my mouth, she leaped up with joy. She then introduced herself as May, age 27. She ran away from boarding school at 14, after she 'accidentally' set fire to the Science block. I still wasn't sure why she trusted me though...

She said she'd show me round the base, so off we went down the hall until we got to an empty room, which was going to be mine.

I walked inside and saw a small bed, a table and an old wardrobe. Pyro said the wardrobe was full of uniforms, and that I'd be required to wear the from tomorrow onwards. I opened it, and saw half a dozen crimson suit jackets, and half a dozen crimson trousers. I was just about to try them on when..

"PYRO! COME AND LIGHT THE FREAKIN FIRE! WE'RE HAVING A BARBECUE!"

Pyro stuffed her mask back on and ran down the hall, pulling me along by the wrist.

"MPHH MPHH MM" she remembered she couldn't speak clearly with her mask and gave up on whatever she was trying to say.

We finally got outside, where the rest of the RED's were wondering around. When I got there, they all ran over to the old table, and beckoned me over.

"Sorry partner, we never properly got to introduce ourselves after Pyro ran off to show you round the base. You're clearly not french like most off the spies we've had. Where're you from?"

"England, I live in a small town in the South West on the coast. It's nice enough." The Engineer nodded.

"England? Tell me lass, ave you ever been ta Scotland?" The Demoman, already drunk, was slurring out a slightly random question.

Luckily it was one I could answer. "Yes, I use to go there with my family a lot. Lovely place. Lots of mountains." I put on a cheeky grin. " Lots of whiskey." This caused the team to start laughing.

Throughout the evening, I learnt a lot about me team mates, including which ones I don't particularly like. The Soldier said 'maggots' so often that it got really annoying, and the scout was just the definition of irritating.

I sat and talked to the team for hours, and in particular Mundy the Sniper. He was so friendly, and I felt so comfortable speaking to him. I could tell by the team's reaction that he wasn't usually this open to new people, or people he had known for a while.

The more people drank, the more entertaining the evening became. Everybody except for Me, Pyro and Medic got smashed, and they were all dancing around a campfire we made.

Pyro went to bed straight after we made a fire, apparently she didn't like parties. Medic didn't drink because, well, he's a Medic, and I didn't feel like getting drunk and doing something stupid on my first day here. What I had (stupidly) done was have a burger eating competition with the Heavy, and the Heavy is a big guy. I lost of course. But now I felt sick to my stomach.

"Sorry guys, I'm gonna have to be a spoil sport and go to bed now. Bye!" The remainder of the team that hadn't passed out waved back and said goodbye with slurred voices. I laughed and walked back inside.


	3. First Blood

Spy around here chapter 3

A/N  
What happened to the last spy? Revealed in later chapters, so calm down!

I've changed the bit about scout being scared so please don't mention it anymore!

Also I've changed the bit about pyro and the trusting so quickly and stuff! But yet again it's in later chapters that the matter is discussed further.  
-

I woke up in the morning to the sound of arguments in the mess hall. I stood up and walked towards the wardrobe, and pulled out a crimson suit at random. I opened the draw and got a white shirt and some trousers. "Killing people in style..." I muttered to myself. I got dressed and went over to the mess hall. As I walked in, a red plate smashed on the wall just above my head.  
"What the hell is going on here?!" Scout and Sniper, the ones who had been fighting, suddenly turned at my sudden outburst. "And who threw the plate?" Sniper sheepishly raised his hand, and Scout laughed.  
"Looking gooooood princess! Lets just see if you survive the battle." Scout whispered as he walked past me. I ignored the comment and continued towards the kitchen where Sniper had retreated.

I searched through the cupboards and found a few eggs. I grabbed a frying pan and started making myself some breakfast. As soon as the smell of cooking eggs hit my nose, I realised I was absolutely starving! As soon as the eggs had finished cooking, I ran over to the sink to pour cold water on them.  
"Why the bloody 'ell are you doing that mate?" Sniper finally looked up from his coffee to speak.  
"Because I'm starving and it means I can eat them without waiting for them to cool down!" He just stared at me with disgust.  
"That's just bloody horrible! Stupid spois..." I could tell from his tone of voice he wasn't joking around. He was genuinely insulting me! But why? What had I done?!

I flipped the eggs onto a plate and started shovelling them into my mouth with a fork I found. I had to admit, they tasted terrible! Maybe I should have just waited for them to cool...  
When I left the kitchen, Sniper was still staring into his cold mug of coffee. I decided it was pointless to try to talk to him.  
When I re-entered the mess hall, Pyro, fully masked and suited, rushed over to me and handed me two items. One was a golden watch, the other was some sort of mask that covered the area around my eyes. I put the golden watch on, tapped it lightly and turned invisible.  
"This place really has gadgets..." I thought out-loud.  
"The rest of your weapons are in ze Library. We can get zem in a min-" Medic was cut off halfway through his sentence by a loud wailing siren.

"Warning! BLU Scout is in the base!" The voice of the Administrator was all but drowned in the battle cries of the rest of the team. Even Sniper seemed to reanimate as we rushed to get our weapons from the Library. To this day I still don't understand why it's called the Library, but there's obviously a reason.

I ran to the far corner of the room, where there was a red sign saying 'Spy'.  
I quickly grabbed the weapons there: a revolver, a butterfly knife, an electro sapper and finally a disguise kit. I was the last out of the base, and almost immediately ran into the BLU Scout.  
"Nice disguise RED!" I was momentarily confused, I wasn't wearing a disguise. Then I realised, he thought I was just disguised as a girl. I smiled.

"Thanks BLU! So knives or guns, which do you think is more efficient?" He smirked, he looked so similar to our scout.  
"Easy. Baseball bats!" He grabbed the ball from his pocket and swung the bat at my face. I was temporarily dazed, but I quickly recovered, and thrust the knife towards his face. He tried to jump out of the way, but this put his neck in the way of the knife, and he fell to the floor after it made contact. After the gurgling and gasping stopped, I heard the Administrator's voice announce first blood had been spilled.

"Not bad for your first battle." I mumbled to myself as I straighten my jacket. I noticed a large spot of blood had landed on my arm. "You got blood on my suit." I muttered to the disappearing body.

I decided to cloak before I ran into any more enemies. I looked towards the bridge and saw the main battle was over there. I wouldn't get past without being hit by a few stray bullets, I knew that, so I started to look for another way to the intelligence. I saw a sewer pipe hidden under the bridge, so I decided that would be a good place to start.

I checked my watch was charged. Then I ran, cloaked, into the sewage under the bridge, narrowly avoiding a spray of bullets from the BLU ZHeavy.  
"My suit..." I grumbled as I wadded through the water. A few seconds later my cloak ran out, so I just relied on being sneaky. I was just about to get out my disguise kit when something pinned me with my back against the wall.

"RED has employed a small girl? Vat vere zey thinking?" I felt the hot breath of the enemy Spy against my neck, making me feel rather uncomfortable. "A rather pretty little girl, I have to admit..." He licked his lips. Oh crap. I knew I would be fighting, but I didn't sign up for this. Just as he started to close the gap between our lips, I grabbed my knife and stabbed his side. He gritted his teeth and cloaked, trying to run away. Fortunately I could see splashes of blood where he walked, so I aimed my revolver roughly where I thought his head would be, and just as I was about to pull the trigger...

BANG!  
I saw the dead spy fall to the ground and quickly spun round to see our Sniper reloading his rifle.  
"Bloody spook..." He quickly turned to me. "Sheila, you alright?" I nodded, shocked by the sudden appearance of the sharpshooter. Then, almost as quickly as he arrived, he left, running back to the battlements.

I decided to press on with my mission, and ran towards the enemy intelligence. I reached the room as saw the Engineer had set up a sentry. I whipped out my disguise kit and disguised as the BLU spy, as nobody knew he was dead yet. The sentry kept scanning the area, but didn't view me as a threat. I reached for my Sapper and placed it onto the top of the sentry. It started to beep and then collapsed in front of me. I could here the Engineer running down the steps so I grabbed the intelligence and ran.

"We have the enemy intelligence!" I smiled at yet another announcement to do with me, and ran as fast as I could. When I got out of the sewer I quickly dodged an incoming soldier rocket, but I knew I'd lose the cargo in a minute. I saw our Scout running over the bridge. "Scout! Catch!" I tossed it over to the boy as he sprinted back to base. The bullet hit my skull and I blacked out before I could take another step.


	4. We don't talk about that

**A/N**

**Reviews! Reviews for everybody! Review to save the endangered spy crab!**

Let me tell you something, respawn is not a comfortable thing.

First you feel nothing. You whole body is numb but you can still hear the explosions of the battle field. Then your body slowly starts to disintegrate. While this is happening you can feel every single bit of your body melting, or at least that's what if feels like. You want to cry, but you can't, you're dead. After about 10 minutes of this, you disappear, and arrive in a large yellow room. Your battlefield wrecked body floats aimlessly in the air for a few moments, until a beam of red energy washes around you and fixes all your injuries. The sensation of your skin stretching over your wounds stings a little, but otherwise it's quite pleasant. Then, all of a sudden, you body drops to the floor in RED respawn room as if you were a doll.

I sat up and looked around me. I checked at the time, it was 6 o'clock. I tried to stand up but soon discovered a terrible headache in the back of my head. Then I heard footsteps. I quickly lead back down and pretended to still be asleep. The automatic door opened and two people walked towards me, one more relaxed than the other.

"Medic are you certain Spoi's alright?" I heard a sigh coming from the Medic at Sniper's question.

"She'll be fine. It was only ein bullet..." I heard Medic rummaging through the cupboard.

"But mate, the respawn time is 30 minutes after the battle ends. It's been 3 hours!" I'd been out for 3 hours? I heard another frustrated sigh from the doctor.

"Herr Mundy, Spy is fine! It always takes longer ze first time you 'die'."

I decided to put them out of they're misery. I let out a small groan as I sat up. Sniper quickly turned and ran out of the room. Why was he avoiding me? Medic briskly walked over to me and handed me some pills.

"For your headache." He said as he placed them in my hand.

"How did you know I-"

"Sniper bullet to ze head. You're clearly going to have a headache." I took the medicine and tried to stand up again. Medic helped me up, but quickly left saying to come to the mess hall.

When I eventually stumbled into the room, everybody was sat eating dinner. Engineer told me to sit down as we were just about to start discussing today's battle. Pyro brought me a plate of food, some sort of omelet.

"You gonna poor water on that spook." Sniper grumbled. I couldn't figure out for my life why he was being so hostile all of a sudden.

"We'll the good news is, we won!" Every body started cheering at Engineer's statement. Heavy almost broke the table with excitement, and Medic had to calm him down. "And we only had one death!" Everybody suddenly stared at me, and I put my face in my hands, trying to block out the stares.

"It's alright leetle woman! Heavy dies sometimes as well!" The large Russian tried to comfort me with his broken English. I smiled at him, before Scout suddenly jumped up.

"Alright Sniper pay up! Thirty dollars, as you promised!" Sniper reluctantly put his hands in his pocket and handed Scout the money. I couldn't believe it, they were putting bets on me, like some sort of race horse? I sighed and started eating my food.

"Seeing as Spy died right at the end, which of you maggots got first blood?" Nobody said anything in reply to Soldiers question, and I suddenly remembered it was me. I looked up and with a mouthful of food replied "Me." Soldier suddenly seemed to cheer up.

"We'll done! You deserve a medal!" The team then started to ask about who I killed, how I killed them, did I taunt them? I told them the story, and they all cheered.

Turns put we took out almost all of the team, with only their Heavy and Engineer surviving.

After dinner Pyro told me to come to her room, so I followed her there. She smiled cheerily. "So how was your first battle?" She asked, as if she were my mother and this was my first day at school.

"Pretty good. Except for dying. And that encounter with their Spy..." I said that last bit under my breath, but she still caught it, then questioned it. I proceeded to tell her about the uncomfortable experience with Spy, then the bit about Sniper saving me.

"Knight in shinning armour!" She giggled, again reminding me of a teasing mother.

I paused a question popping into my head. "What happened to the last Spy?" Pyro froze all traces of joy leaving her face.

"We don't really... Talk about it..." She stuttered. I could see her eyes getting misty, so I thought it might be a good time to leave.

As I walked aimlessly around the corridor, I heard Sniper's voice. I cloaked and walked over to him. He was talking to someone on the phone.

"Yeah. Mhm. Yeah they replaced the old spoi. No. Nah, she's a girl. She's alright. No Mum I don't think she's pretty!" He covered his mouth, clearly that came out louder than it was suppose to. It took all the strength I had not to burst out laughing.

"Gotta go. Bye Mum... Love you too..." He hung up the phone and walked away. I uncloak and started following him.

"Oh, Sniper!" I said as if I only just saw him. "Can I talk to you?" He turned around and nodded. What I did next was a little stupid, but I ran up to him and hugged him.

"Thanks for saving me today. I really do appreciate it." He frowned.

"It doesn't matter sheila, you died anyway." I looked at him. He still frowned. I stood back and decided to tell him the whole story. He looked at me in disbelief.

"You're welcome." He said before strolling away. I sighed, I was never going to speak to him at this rate.


	5. Knives

**A/N**  
**5 followers and 2 favourites. Yay.**

(Roughly 3 months later)

I followed the BLU Spy through the RED battlements, wondering where he would go next. It was the height of summer and I was absolutely boiling. Let me tell you this, sneaking around is not easy in this weather. Everywhere is filled with light, and it's hard to focus.

As I turned the corner, I saw Sniper looking out his scope. I briefly forgot about the other Spy when I saw his shirt lying on the floor under his kurki. I recently found out he was only 23, making him the same age as Scout. Apparently the battles have been a bit tough of his face... Well that's what Scout said. I didn't particularly have a problem with how his face looked...  
"Snap out of it..." I muttered to myself. Just then I noticed the enemy uncloak behind Sniper, his knife held ready for a critical hit.

"ARGHGHGHGHGH" Before I knew what I was doing, I had jumped at the Spy, my knife against his throat. Before he had time to respond, I was slashing at his neck while screaming something unintelligible. Suddenly somebody grabbed my arm and pulled my off of the dead Spy.  
"Bloody 'ell! What was that?!" Sniper stood above me, his hands in the air and his face the image of confusion.  
"I.. I...um..." How was I suppose to reply? I genuinely didn't have an excuse for what just happened. I leaned back, too tired to have a conversation.  
My spine suddenly erupted in pain, and I heard a sharp scream. I realised the scream had come from me.

Sniper rushed over to me with a very concerned look. I felt around my spine, until I came across the enemy Spy's knife protruding from it. I must have landed on it when I fell back.  
"Shit..." I muttered under my breath. "Shit shit shit."  
"Mission ends in thirty seconds" I heard the Administrators voice and reached for my gun.  
"What are you doing?" Sniper had got a health pack out from his supply pile and was making his way back over to where I lay.  
10...  
9...  
8...  
7...  
6...  
The battle would end soon and respawn would shut off. I gripped the gun and placed it against my forehead.  
5...  
4...  
I just needed to pull the trigger before the battle ended...  
3...  
2...  
BANG!

**Short chapter, sorry!**


	6. The last Spy

**A/N **

**What happened to the old spy? And yes, I have rewritten this chapter.**

* * *

I woke up from respawn with a aching back and a terrible headache. I felt terrible and decided to head straight for my room, but on the way I saw Sniper hang up the phone. He abruptly turned and ran towards me. Grabbing my arm, he lead me to the door and pushed me outside.

"What the 'ell was that?!" He roared. "Why did you attacked the Spy like that?" He glared at me menacingly. I tried to come up with an excuse, but I couldn't, so I said the first thing I thought of.

"I didn't want him to hurt you..." I said, cowering sheepishly under his gaze.

"You were watching me?!" Oh dear, he clearly got the wrong impression, that I'd been stood there the whole time.

"No! I was following the Spy!" He face didn't calm one bit.

"But what about after, Oi had the health pack but you just bloody shoot yourself?"

I tried to explain that the wound was too bad, that I would have bleed to death after the battle, after respawn shut off, in fact it was a miracle that it hadn't been an instant kill...

He just continued to throw questions and insults at me, until I finally got the courage to ask the question I had thought over for so long.

"Why are you being so hostile? I'm trying to be nice, I saved your life, why do you hate me?!" He froze, suddenly stuck for an answer. After a rather uncomfortably long silence, he replied:

"Oi have a lot of patience wiv sniopin', but people? Thats a different story." I tried to protest, but he continued. "Why do you want to be friends anyway. Oi'm a bad person..."

"Snipes, you're not a bad person..." I tried to put as much calmness and affection into my voice, although I wanted to rip his throat out at the present moment.

"Oi'm a murderer..."

"We all are. You're no worse than the rest of us."

He spun round, the anger suddenly reappearing.

"Well at least you didn't kill yer own bloody team mate!"

There were so many answers I could have asked, but I new what he meant immediately.

"The last spy... You k-" I stuttered, trying to get the words out of my mouth.

"Yer, oi killed him. We were best friends, me and that spy. We joined the team together, fought together, oi've never had a friend as good as Spy. One day after a battle we started arguing. That's when he lost it. He attacked me and, out of instinct, oi defended myself. Oi got too carried away.." He sighed deeply. struggling to speak through the lump in his throat. "Oi accidentally killed him, and oi swore to keep my distance for people, in the fear oi would lose control again."

I couldn't believe it. He blamed himself all this time. It was partially his fault, but his friend had attacked him first!

He hadn't quite finished though. "That wasn't the hardest task to for fill, oi've never been that sociable." He walked up towards me and but his hands on my shoulders. "Until you got here. Yer so good a killing people, yet yer kind to your team. You genuinely care, and you made such an effort to befriend me, even when oi pushed you away..." He seemed to choose his next words carefully. He looked into my eyes, and for the first time I could see his. They were beautiful, grey, but not like steel. More like mist. He smiled warmly as he found the words he was looking for. "Oi wished I hadn't, because you're such a good friend. We could be more than friends if ya want..." You could clearly tell he hadn't asked many girls out.

The first thing that I was certain of at that time was that I was blushing like crazy, the second was that, yeah, i liked that idea But words didn't seem appropriate at the time, so I just leaned in and kissed him.

The kiss continued, our lips slowly moving against each other's. His beard wasn't scratchy at all, it was far from it. I ran my hands through his dark brown hair, while he wrapped his arms around my waist. It was a nice thing, kissing someone.

I don't know how long we would've continued,but then I heard footsteps.

**A/N**

**Well, yup. Now you know what happened with the last Spy, you happy now?**

**Thanks to Courtney Gears for her awesome review, things like that make you want to keep writing :)**

**I think I threw up while writing this *facepalm* I hate writing mush. **


	7. No secrets

I reluctantly broke the kiss to see who I heard, and to my horror I was greeted by Scout's devilish smirk.

"Woah! I was just sent to tell you dinner's ready but you're ... I mean you were freakin makin out!" Scout suddenly turned tail and ran, and Sniper tried to follow him, but I quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Snipes, it's not worth it. Come on, we better go get dinner." He nodded in agreement. He leant down and softly kissed my lips, and I wished we didn't have to go. But I was so hungry, I hadn't eaten anything today.

We walked hand in hand towards the messhall, but before we'd even opened the door we could hear Scout's loud voice telling the whole team what he just saw.

"Then they started to freakin make out, and it was all like mwah, mwah!" The other RED's responded with thundering laughter. Sniper muttered something under his breath, and opened the door. They all fell silent and stared at us, still holding hands.

"What you all bloody gawkin at?" Sniper finally spoke up after a long, awkward silence. The team started to mumble unintelligible words, returning to their food. Sniper lead me into the kitchen where we found some sort of curry dish. We retrieved two plates full and returned to the table where the team awkwardly tried to avoid eye contact. I quickly finished the curry, then sat glaring at Scout for another 5 minutes. He gazed back at me, resting his head in his hand in a somewhat flirtatious manner.

"What's up Princess? Didn't want me to tell the team about your little snogging session with the bushman? Aww, too bad..." The devilish smirk returned to his face, but he still didn't lose eye contact, and neither did I.

"Scout, I zink it iz time to stop... It izn't really any of any concern of you..." Medic finally spoke up, trying to stop Scout's infuriating taunting.

"Let's just get out of 'ere.." Sniper whispered. I nodded and we both stood up, and left without another word. Just as Sniper politely held the door open for me, Scout called after us,

"Snipes! Try not to kill this one okay?" Before the boy knew what he'd got himself into, Sniper ran at him and tackled him to the ground. "What? You gonna kill me too? Pal, that ain't how you're meant to treat your own teammates!" Despite Sniper's strength, Scout remained as fearless as ever, still taunting him with every chance he could.

"You don't understand what happened..." Sniper replied, gritting his teeth.

"I heard the whole conversation! You killed the last Spy!" The rest of the team approached the wrestling mercenaries, trying to pull them apart. Even when they succeeded, they still had difficulty keeping them apart.

I was about to go and help, I was still standing by the door, when Engineer calmly asked "Sniper, is this true?" Sniper didn't answer, he simply hung his head in shame. Nobody really knew what to say, they were all so shocked that Sniper, one of the loneliest people on the team, would kill one of them!

"How do we know he won't kill us? We can't trust him!" Scout blurted out. I wanted to walk over there and punch the smirk off of his face, but I knew that wouldn't really help the situation. The team started to nod in agreement, and let Scout go. I really didn't know what to do, what where they going to do?

Pyro returned to the hall (I never noticed her leave) but when I saw what she was carrying, I nearly screamed. Pyro was dragging a large red axe along the floor, and walking menacingly straight towards Sniper.

"Now Pyro, zat is a bit extreme..." The Medic tried to block the Pyro's path, but she simply pushed him out the way.

"Pryo! Stop it!" I jumped in front of her, and she stopped. I knew her and Pyro weren't that close, but an axe? Then she did the last thing I expected her to do. She raised the axe above her head and took a swing at me. I quickly sidestepped, barely avoiding the blade. "What the-" Dodged again "Bloody hell-" another dodge "was that for?!"

Pyro continued to swing her axe for unknown reasons, and I kept dogging for more obvious ones.

She decided that wasn't going to work, so she swung the blade in a complete circle. I heard the blade make contact, and I expected to fall to the floor, but when the REDs looked past Pyro, I could see what had happened. Scout had somehow been stupid enough to get in the range of Pyro's axe, and when she swung it around it had hit his leg.

Medic rand over, his Medigun in hand, and examined Scout's leg. Apparently it wasn't fatal, but he wouldn't be able to walk for a few days. Scott's reply to this was just a long, weary sigh, before he started to insist he would be fine (Which he was after just 5 minutes under the Medigun)

Pyro was sat in the corner glaring at Sniper through he mask, so I 'invited' her to come outside and talk.

"Why did you try to kill me?" I asked with as much calmness as I could.

"He killed Spy... He killed my Spy..." That one word made all the difference to her reply.

"He killed 'your' Spy?" She nodded. "Oh... You two were...like, romantic and stuff?" Again she nodded.

"I tried to kill you so he could feel how I felt. I'm sorry, I should have don't that you're my friend." I smiled a her apology but something about the way she said it made me suspicious.

**A/N **

**Ok I haven't updated in a while because I found this chapter hard to write. Also I can't update until Sunday or Monday now because I'm going to a Guide Camp.**

**Funny story, the Guide leaders told us to name on all are clothes etc. but they didn't specify whose name. Basically all my property is now labeled Iron Man.**

**I have to say I'm not looking forward to camp, I mean:**

**No Tf2, No iPad (for writing), no time for drawing, no fanfic ready, and nobody to talk about games with. BORING. But I'll live, and I'll mentally write the next chapter so I can get it to you on Sunday!**


	8. Rivals

**A/N ok so it took longer than I thought to write this chapter. I was stuck on what to do next. But thanks to my best friend, we thought up some ideas! But she started going over the top saying Medic should dissect the whole team. We won't do that.**

Throughout the battle I couldn't stop thinking about yesterday. Everything was zooming through my head: Sniper's confession, the kiss, Scout's inability to keep a secret, then the fights. The way Pyro spoke still haunted me, and I still didn't trust her. Luckily the there was a good fight going on today, so it gave the rest of the team a distraction while I mulled through my thoughts.

I wondered through the tunnels half asleep, and only returned to reality when I heard the beaping of a sentry. I quickly cloaked and turned the corner to see what was there. The BLU Engineer lay dead on the floor, will the our lifeless Soldier laying not to far away. The perfect opportunity to sap the unprotected sentry. I disguised as the enemies Spy, and destroyed the sentry I a matter of seconds. Just as I was about to turn and leave, the same Frenchman who I had copied uncloaked behind me.

"Bonjour..." I said in my best fake French accent. He sniggered.  
"If it isn't my favourite little girl..." He sniggered for a second time. "So, I heard about you and ze sniper-" he would have continued, but I cut him off right then.  
"Just, don't. I really can't be bothered right now. Can we just fight?" The two of us had formed some sort of friendly-ish rivalry, so we would often have a conversation before we fought. It was weird, but I looked forward to it before every battle.

We armed ourselves with a knife each, and stared each other, waiting for the first move. He smiled maliciously from beneath his mask, cloaked, then reappeared behind me. 'Not so fast' I thought as he raised his knife, preparing for an attack. I spun round on my left foot, raised my arm and slashed at the masked face. He let out a grunt of pain, but quickly recovered, retaliating with a knife to my shoulder. Luckily I suspected this attack, so I ducked and aimed my knife to his undefended stomach. I heard it make contact, closely followed by a thud as his body hit the ground.

Just as the life left his eyes, he held up his hand, and weakly said "Good fight..." I shook his cold hand, then proceeded to stroll through the room to the intelligence. I casually picked it up, and only quickened my escape when I heard the enemy Demoman race down the steps to stop me. My cloak was disabled when I was in possession of the intelligence, but I still had the ability to sneak around. The drunken man barged into the room, his gun raised and his eyes scanning the room for me. I pulled my gun from my suit, aimed it at his head and he was dead before he could see me. I raced back through the sewer and passed the 'flag' to our Scout as he ran back to our intelligence room.

What we hadn't notice, but the BLU Scout was running to his base with our intelligence! He was just about to disappear into their sewer where nobody would catch him in time, when he suddenly collapsed to the floor in a heap of blood. I glanced up to where the noise came from, and saw Snipes tip his hat in mock respect for the Scout. He noticed me and waved, a broad smile set on his face.

"You've captured the enemy intelligence!" The Administrator's voice echoed over the arena, and the other team quickly ran back to their base. We strolled back to ours, cheering and slapping each other heartily on the back.

We only lost Soldier and Medic today, and we won, so everybody was in a good mood. Almost every time we won, it was because of the silent teamwork between me and Scout, even though we'd rather die than admit we're a good team. I prepared some painkillers for Medic, as he's always been rather ill after respawn. Sniper stood outside respawn, leaning with his back against the wall and his arms crossed. When I walked out, he opened his arms and invited me to a hug. I felt his arms wrap around my slim figure, and I snuggled happily into his muscular chest. We waited until Soldier and Medic had respawned, and after checking they were both okay, headed over to the messhall.

Demo had already started on his scrumpy, and the others had all settled down to play some board game. I noticed Scout looking at the calendar, and I decided to see what was so interesting.

"Tommorow is the annual crate day!" Scout said joyously, as if reading my mind. "Each one of us is sent a key, and we all have to find the matching crate! We get to keep whatever's left inside, so it's pretty cool!"

The others deemed to be looking forward to it as well, and it soon became the main topic of the evening, before Demo and Soldier got into some sort of fight. Pyro didnt seem to be doing anything suspicious, so I just left her alone. What's the worst she could do? We were friends after all...


	9. Crate Day

Around 4am in the morning, I heard a loud knock on my door. I sluggishly rolled out of bed, landing face first on the floor.

"What?!" I shouted in a manner that would probably have scared them away.

"It's crate day! Oi've got your key!" Unfortunately it didn't scare them away. Luckily it was Snipes, and I didn't mind talking to him.

"I'll be out in a minute..." I replied as I rolled towards the wardrobe.

I did some final adjustments to my suit and opened the door. Snipes was still stood their waiting, and he handed me a golden key. He then took my hand and we walked to the bridge.

For a moment I was confused. Both the RED and the BLU team were stood on the bridge, but they weren't fighting at all!

"Now zat everybody's here, we can begin..." The BLU Medic said to both teams. "As usual, you are paired with ze class ze same as you, for example, I vill be viz ze RED Medic." He gestured to our Medic, who replied with a shy smile. "Find your crates, and vin vatever you find."

We heard a loud siren, and everybody set off. Just before I left, Sniper asked me if I would be alright, which I insisted I would be.

"Shall we?" Spy held out his hand, telling me to follow him. I did, and we ran up to the battlements.

"So where do you think they're hidden?" I asked. The Frenchman looked around a bit before replying.

"I zink ours are on ze roof." We tried to climb up the wall, but it was too steep. There was an old barrel nearby, so I rolled it over and stood on it. I then jumped up onto the roof, and helped Spy up. He was right, there was two crates perched on the other side of the roof. We sprinted across the tiles, and just as he was about to reach the crate, I heard a loud beep. Several loud beeps.

"Get down!" I screamed. He turned around, a confused expression on his face. I realised the sentries had already spotted him, so I dived at him, causing both of us to tumble off the edge.

I awoke with a groan, my back felt as if it had been snapped in two. It hadn't of course, but it still felt like it. I looked around, it was getting dark, and it had just started to rain. I suddenly heard a groan from underneath me, and I realised I was lying on top of the other Spy in a rather awkward fashion. He looked at me from beneath his mask, his eyes bearing the same confusion they had when I tackled him.

"Sentries." I said. He nodded.

"Indeed. I zought my luck 'ad suddenly improved!" For some reason this was amazingly funny, and we both started to giggle like 9 year old girls. That is until we discovered it killed our backs. I stood up, then immediately tripped over his arm, causing me to fall face first onto the floor. He sniggered, then helped me stand again. We slung our arms over each other's shoulders, and attempted to walk back to the bridge. We hadn't retrieved our prize, but we didn't really care.

As soon as we got to the bridge, we collapsed, completely drained of all energy. The others stopped marvelling at their hats, and glanced over too us.

"I forgot to say zat zere vould be obstacles zis jahre..." The BLU Medic said, "Sorry." We both sighed at the same time, before I stood up, brushed myself off, and limped back over to the battlements.

"Where are you going?" Snipes called after me. I sighed.

"I want my bloody prize alright?" Spy stood up and started to follow me. We got to the battlements and helped each other up. I grabbed my Sapper and frisbee-tossed it across the roof, and heard the satisfying sizzle as the sentry was destroyed. I marched over and started pushing the crates back to Spy, and we took them back to the bridge. We retrieved our keys from our pockets, and opened the crates.

Spy walked over to me with some sort of detectives hat, parading around as if on a catwalk.

"Vell? 'Ow do I look?" He spun in a circle and struck a ridiculous pose.

"You look marvellous darling!" I said in an equally ridiculous accent.

I uncrated my hat, which was a dark grey cavalier hat, with a large red feather. I put it on my head, threw my hands in the air and screamed "FABULOUS!"

Everyone started to strut around in their hats, all of them laughing like old friends. A few times I had to remind myself that we were rivals, enemies even! As soon as we stepped out of the bases the tomorrow, everything that happened today would be forgotten. I sighed, this war wasn't nearly as fun as I thought. I mean, the fighting was, I've made great friends, and of course I met Snipes! But these people who we fought on a daily basis, they were so nice! They would defiantly be my friends outside of war.

I climbed up to the canopy of the bridge and sat, staring into the clear water below. Today there were not dead bodies, no splashes of blood or stray limbs. Instead there was calm. I hadn't experienced calm for a long time. I was abruptly dragged from my daydream when Spy sat beside me.

"You drunk?" I muttered. Everybody was in BLU base drinking the secret stash of scrumpy. He shook his head, but opened his disguise kit and took out a cigarette. He offered me one, but refused.

"Ze respawn stops zem from 'aving any negative affects." He said as he blew a cloud of smoke.

We sat there for a few minutes in silence, before he wriggled closer to me.

"Zat 'at suites you... You look quite charming..." I was stuck for a moment, how would I reply? I decided to change the subject completely.

"Sorry for ripping your throat out the other day." I said, recalling my rather savage attack a few days ago. He chuckled... I have to admit I was becoming quite found of his laugh. But I wasn't aloud to think like that, was I? I turned around to see Snipes climbing the bridge, with a broad smile spread across his clearly drunken face. He climbed up next to me and fell on his back.

"You look sexy in that hat!" He said. I sighed, there goes my calm. "You like mine?" He was wearing some sort of bandanna and red hood, and I have to admit he did look pretty good. Suddenly he looked at Spy, as if noticing he was here for the first time.

"What the 'ell are you doin' 'ere?" He slurred angrily. "You flirtin' with my girl?" He slumped over me, trying to reach Spy, but I was in the way.

"Come on Snipes, lets get you back to base..." I looked at Spy, giving him a silent apology. He nodded, and I helped Sniper back to base. Medic was back at base, and took him from there. I decided I was tired, so I went to my room and undressed. It was so hot outside, even at night, so I just slept in my vest top and pants.

**A/N **

**I wanted to write a chapter about the two teams, and I wanted to write a chapter about hats. So I made the annual crate day! But I really don't know why. Just to comfirm which hats they were wearing:**

**Beth- Charmer's Chapeau**

**BLU Spy- Détective Noir**

**Snipes- Anger**

**Got a bit of Spy and Spy! Ooh! **


	10. Out of Action

I had woke up in the middle of the night after hearing some strange mechanical noise. My back hurt even more than it had yesterday, and I decide I couldn't participate in today's battle. If there was even going to be a battle, everyone would be suffering from hangovers so I doubted it. I decided to take a shower now, before everybody else got up. I grabbed my stuff from under the bed and opened the door.

I limped down the hallway, my legs threatening to give way. I heard footsteps, accompanied by the sound of clashing metal, and decided to see what it was. But as soon as I turned around, something came in contact with my nose. I fell to the floor and blacked out...

* * *

(RED Sniper's POV)

I looked at the clock, it was 5:45. My head felt as if I'd been shot, then stabbed, then my brain ripped from my skull. Aka I had a bloody hangover...

"Shit." I suddenly remembered last night, sat on top of the bridge. I couldn't believe I made such a fool of myself. I decided I had to go and apologise to my sheila right away! I ignored the headache the best I could, and marched down the hallway.

Then I saw a small figure huddled on the floor, I raced towards it, trying to see who it was in the dim light.

Panic flooded my mind as I saw who it was. I dropped to the floor beside her, trying to get a response.

"Beth?" I shook the small Spy gently. "Beth?" I tried again, but there was no answer. Blood was pouring from her broken nose, and her leg was stretched out in an unnatural position. How'd this happened? Who would do this?

"MEDIC!" I desperately called out for the doctor. "MEDIC!" I called louder, and eventually he came running round the corner. He looked at the casualty.

"Vat happened here?" He looked just as concerned as I did.

"Oi dunno mate, I just found her like this..." I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I turned to her. "Hang in there..." I moved a peace of hair from her face, she still looked beautiful, even with a broken nose.

* * *

Medic cleared the blood off of her face as the whole team watched. Apparently everybody woke up after they heard me calling for the Medic. I was surprised about how concerned everybody seemed to be, muttering among themselves as the Medic healed her.

I wasn't really comfortable with all the guys here, as she was only in her underwear and a tank top, but non of them were staring, well except Scout, but that's just Scout for you.

"So.. Uh.. Know what happened to her?" Scout said rather sheepishly. Medic looked up, staring at him rather harshly.

"Actually Ja. It seems to have been a strong metal object. Like a bat!" Everybody turned to face Scout as his jaw dropped. I took a step towards him, and he took one back, only to step into Heavy.

"I swear, it wasn't me! I was in my room, Demo had to come and wake me up!"

"Why, you bloody-" I took another step towards him, but I heard a soft groan behind me.

* * *

(RED Spy's POV)

Ugh, I felt crap. What happened? I suddenly felt like I was being watched, and looked up to see the other REDs gathered around. I sat up to see what was going on. Medic was operating the Medigun, whilst the rest of the team crowded around Scout in a way that made me think he'd done something wrong. Snipes walked over to me with his arms extended, and I briefly forgot about the team when he held me in his arms. I tried to stand up, but Medic rushed over to me.

"Nein! Your leg is broken. You vill not walk for a few days..." I sighed. So I was out of action. Great! Not... This would be so boring!

* * *

After three days of just lying here, I felt close to madness. Medic was the only person I had for company during battles, as my leg was so bad I had to be closely monitored. I decided I might as well talk to him.

"So... How did you end up here?" Medic stopped polishing a surgical knife and laughed.

"It is a long story... But we have some time..." He sat down on a red chair next to the bed.

"I grew up in a rich German family. I never wanted for anything. Unfortunately, when the war came, my parents divorced. Meine Mutter was against ze Nazi's, but meinen Vater was ein strong supporter. I vanted to go vith Mutter, aber Vater made me go with him.

From a young age, I had an... 'interest' in ze human body. He hated zhis, and eventually, when I refused to give it up, he kicked me out and claimed I vas no son of his!" Anger radiated of the Medic's face as he spoke.

"I found a disused sewer, and it became my lab. I went a little crazy, I started to dig up bodies to dissect, I even killed people... One day I got into zhis doctor's surgery, and became one of ze best surgeons zey had! Until one day, by chance, I had to operate on somebody from my past. Vater. I was mad. I killed him, and carefully removed every single bone from his body, leaving the dead body like jelly." His crazed laugh echoed through the room. "Anyway, zhat is how I lost my medical licence..." I had to admit, he had more of a history than I thought. I was nervous when he had to perform sugary on my leg.

* * *

He carefully cut open my knee, delicately removing the shattered, twisted bone and replacing it with a metal one. He then aimed the Medigun at the wound, and switched it to high. The blood around the area cleared up, and it felt as though it was being cleaned from infections. The red light flowed through my leg, travelling to the edge of the gash and, as if it were a tiny group of workers, pushed the sides together. I gritted my teeth through this bit, it really stung. I then watched in amazement as it healed up, and my leg felt better than ever! Medic said it would still be really weak, so better not walk just yet.


	11. All of them

(Third person POV)

"Yer a little piece a' piss ya know that!"

"Well at least I ain't a grumpy shit!"

"I am not a grumpy shit!"

"You are a grumpy shit!"

"THAT'S IT!"

The Australian bushman and the scout from Boston had been throwing insults back and forth for almost an hour now. It had all started after that days battle, when they heard Engineer asking Medic if he'd made any progress in finding who, or what, had attacked the RED Spy. Sniper started to interrogate Scout again, which is how they had reached this current situation.

Sniper rolled up the sleeves of his red shirt and lunged at Scout. The two young RED mercenaries had started yet another scrabble, which mainly consisted of a lot of poorly aimed punches and sorry excuses for kicks.

"Tell me why ya did it!"

"-oof!- I told you already it wa'nt me!" Scout desperately tried to persuade the pissed off marksman.

"Don't you bloody lie to me -ack!- you wankah!" Scout placed a roughly aimed elbow to Snipers jaw, causing him to fall back. This was all the time Scout needed to push him off and get up, putting a good distance between him and Sniper.

"You wanna hear what I think? I think you diddit, and you're blaming me so people don't think it's you!" Sniper's eyes widened at Scout's suggestion, but he managed to fight back the urge to retaliate.

"An' why would oi do that?" He said with an almost eerie sense of calm in his voice.

Scout looked down at the floor, searching his brain for a suitable reason. He looked up, a light seemingly switching on in his mind.

"Cuz she's spendin' so much time wiv the other teams spy! You're jealous! I can tell these things!"

This was the last straw, and they started their fistfight again.

* * *

Beth sat on her bed, staring into the small mirror on her wall. She examined her broken nose, her bruised eye and the slightly chipped teeth. And she smiled.

"I finally look like I fit in." She whispered to her reflection. She fiddled with her long braid that fell down her back. "But that isn't very practical is it..." She reached for her trusted, but broken, switchblade, and started to saw off the blond plait. She continued until it didn't reach her shoulders, but was still long enough to tie back out of the way. "Much better!" She tied it back with an elastic band, and replaced her mask, which she had taken to wearing all the time.

"Wankah!"

"Moron!"

Beth stood up, deciding it was best to put a stop to this shouting match.

"SHUT IT!" Both mercenaries fell silent at the Spy's unexpected outburst. "Better. Now that you're not at each others throats, I can tell you that I think I was attacked by some sort of robot." Scout and Sniper burst into laughter, Scout actually falling onto the floor and struggling to breath.

"I think ya not recovered yet... You might wanna see the Medic about that." Sniper was doing his very best, but he was still stifling laughter.

Beth sighed, and walked out towards the bridge, insisting she just needed some fresh air.

* * *

(RED Snipers POV)

I sat in front of the campfire, looking into the fiery embers. I had just finished moving into my camper van for the summer, I should have done it sooner, but I was suffering from a dire case of lazy. But now I needed something to do before I died of boredom. Thinking about today seemed like a good option...

To start with, today's battle hadn't been that bad, I'd sniped the enemy Soldier as he tried to capture our intel, and I'd escaped being burnt to a crisp by the enemy Pyro. I started to massage my chin, and my thoughts instantly arrived at that fight. One thing he said stuck out in my head.

"Cuz she's spendin' so much time wiv the other teams spy! You're jealous!"

I thought about it, she wasn't spending that much time with him, was she? But she was. She seemed so keen to go off with the BLU Spy. They'd been missing for almost the whole day, they even had come back in each others arms!

"Stephen Mundy, yer over thinkin' this!" I sternly told myself, but I only started to think more of it. Afterwards, when everybody was inside, she was alone on the bridge with that French prick. Who knows what they were doing before I got there! A low growl escaped my throat. I kicked some wood into the fire and went inside, slamming the door of the van as I did.

"Spies... Bloody useless! All of them!" I collapsed on my bed in a heap. "ALL of them!"

* * *

A/N

If you haven't read EMAT (Eight Mercenaries and a Toddler) then read it right now because its bloody brilliant! And it's sequel, but I can't remember what it's called. I think it's 'I'll be home for the holidays', but again I'm not certain. But seriously, even the disclaimers are hilarious. Which reminds me, I've never put a disclaimer on any of my stories.

Unfortunately I don't own tf2 because Valve does. But I do own Beth. And the cover picture thingy was drawn by me. So I also own that.


	12. Return of the Bot

**A/N **

**Sorry for taking so long, I was attacked by a serious case of writers block. Secondly, I just found out the country with the fourth most readers of this fanfic is Australia. So now I feel really awkward in case I screw his accent up and offend somebody xD**

**So here we go *sigh* I'm so sorry for this chapter...**

It seemed like a normal day, but nobody knew of the rage inside Sniper. He'd been watching the RED Spy through his scope, and has seen her walk into the sewage pipes. He left his post and followed her, wanting to see what she got up to everyday. Now he stood there, seething with anger.

The BLU Spy had his counterpart pinned up against the wall, and she didn't seem to be doing anything about it. What he didn't see was the knife against her neck, or the gun she was reaching for. Because it wasn't anything like his over-analysing mind had imagined it, it was just their daily fight. He raised his rifle, and within the second the BLU's head was gone.

"You ruined my fun!" She said in an playful tone. But she stopped smiling as soon as she saw the look on Sniper's face.

"I though we had something special..." He pushed his aviators up his nose. "Looks like I was wrong." He raised the gun again, and before she had time to react, she was dead on the floor.

Sniper laughed to himself. He didn't know why he was laughing, he just was.

Then he panicked. Friendly fire... Did that register in respawn?

"Shit." He started to run back to base.

"FIVE MINUTES LEFT OF THE MISSION!"

He decided to wait outside respawn.

Spy sat up and rubbed the back of her neck. What was that about. She stood up and stretched, trying to recall what happened.

Oh yeah, she got shot by her own teammate!

She walked out of respawn, and saw Sniper waiting round the corner.

"Look Sheila, I'm sorry, I got a bit mad..." She simply chose to ignore him. "Well fine then! You go and have fun with your Spy boyfriend!"

Sniper sat on the small bed in his van, a bottle of Demo's scrumpy in his hands. Just as he was going to reach for his third bottle, he heard a knock on the door. He went to go answer it, and was greeted by a silver robot who swung a bat at his head.

Luckily, even in his slightly drunken state, he had good reflexes. He ducked and reached for the full bottle of scrumpy on the floor. He smashed it against the robots face, causing it to malfunction as it fell to the floor. He picked up his rifle and shot it in the head, for good measure.

**Short chapter- sorry :( hopefully the next chapter will be up soon.**


	13. It's all in the plan

**A/N **

**Anybody noticed an absence of Pyro recently? Anybody actually care?**

**And thank you to Marbleschu for the new cover image :D**

* * *

"It's surely a machine..." Engineer mused.

"But it has zhe anatomy of a human..." Medic said, rubbing his chin in thought.

"It sort of resembles Scout." Sniper added.

Sniper had called the doctor and the Engineer in the hope of discovering what the mysterious machine that attacked him was doing in the RED base.

"Vell, I vill have to do some experiment on it, take it back to ze lab..."

"Now hold on a darn moment! Who says you get to dismantle it!" Engineer butted in.

"I vill not 'dismantle' it, I vill _dissect_ it! It is like a human, so the correct word is dissect!"

The two men then started to argue about the correct word to use (which personally Sniper thought was dismantle) so he simply asked them to leave the van before they threw something important in the van and broke it.

Now he just needed to go find Beth, and figure out why the hell she was getting all smoochy with the Spy...

* * *

"He loaded his gun and shot me. He actually shot me!"

"Zere zere, mon ami" the BLU Spy tried to comfort his RED counterpart. "He is just jealous!"

"What is he jealous of?" She asked suspiciously.

"Of _us_!" He smiled warmly. She returned his gaze with a look of 'what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about?!'

"Look, there is no _us_! There is no romance! There is no love triangle drama!" She turned and walked off, kicking a few rocks as she went.

* * *

"You've done a good job. Now here's the new lighter I promised." The RED Pyro smirked as she tossed the orange lighter over to Spy.

He immediately lit a cigarette and started to smoke.

"I 'ave missed zese..." He sighed and breathed a large cloud of smoke. He then turned to Pyro.

"I 'ope you realise I am not going any further wiz zis. I 'ave a reputation to up'old." She nodded and walked off, waving as she went.

"Pleasure doing business with you!"

The Spy was then left alone on the bridge, contemplating whether what he did was wrong. But he was the Spy, and he didn't care about morals, or what would happen to the RED couple.

Did he?

* * *

"Pyro, help my out with this fire? It won't bloody light..." Pyro smiled maliciously from beneath her mask as she approached the Aussie.

"Wmph mph yomph mphed mphlp wimph?" She tried to ask.

"You got a lighter or somethin'?" He glanced up at the masked person, who in return nodded, and reached for the second of three spare lighters in her pocket.

Soon the fire was roaring, and so was the conversation as the two mercenaries started to sing/mph.

Pyro's plan was unfolding _perfectly_.

* * *

**Dun dun daaaaa!**

**Drama started next chapter.**

**I eat reviews, and starving isn't really very nice :( FEED ME!**


	14. AN

**No chapter today, sorry. Also, i know you're not suppose to write these, but it's important...**

**So basically, my schools activities week is coming up, and I shall be in Germany for the next week. Now I wanted to write another chapter, but I don't want to post three short ones in a row, especially because this is where is starts getting interesting. **

**So I shall be taking my trusty pen and paper to Germany, and shall try to write the best chapter yet! **

**But I shall leave you with this, a little 'teaser' if you will...**

* * *

Two pairs of sharp, angry, possibly even sad eyes pierced my skin as they stared, waiting for the answer that refused to come out.

But what did it matter, really?

We'd all be dead by the weekend.

* * *

**And that's all your gonna get *evil laugh***


	15. Out of our league

**A/N **  
**Well Germany was fun! Didn't see anybody who resembled Medic though ?**  
**My best friend accidentally dressed up as Scout though. (she sometimes wears these homemade dogtags, and she was wearing a red short sleeved shirt and a baseball cap. Plus she looks almost exactly like femScout anyway. And I was wearing my Sniper t-shirt, so we must have looked like the bloody tf2 brigade or something xD**  
**12 hours on a coach is long time, so I spent it writing this chapter. Hope you all like it!**

* * *

If there was one thing that was clear, it was that the mercenaries were all partial to a bit of alcohol. Unfortunately, none of then (with the obvious exception of Demo) were very good at holding it very well.

"Now Pyro," Sniper swayed around a bit before staggering into the side of his much loved van. He dropped the bottle, which the smashed into millions of little prices on the dusty floor. He reached for a new bottle, rubbing his head to try and wipe the pain away.  
"So, how do you get a girl to like you? Again. If that makes any fucking sense... Hic!"

The firebug pondered, thinking of her next move. The idea was good, but it did involve taking off her mask again, but he was drunk and probably wouldn't even remember it.

Plus that Spy would probably slit his throat before long- once she found out about this. She decided against it, but then decided against that, and pulled off her black rubber mask.

Her fiery red hair flowed out around her, perfectly complimenting her bone structure. She wasn't what you would call vain, but she certainly didn't need anyone to tell her she was beautiful.

And this was a superbly useful tool in the art of scheming and seducing.

The Australian was shocked, temporarily dragged from his drunken state. The Pyromaniac, who set thing on fire with the same glee as a child who had just seen their mother walk into a sweetshop, was a female.

Not the crazed asylum escapee that he'd imagined, not the alien humanoid incapable of human emotion that Scout had elaborately made up; but a beautiful woman, yet clearly capable of her job.

"Bloody 'ell y-" he was about to finish but us was quickly interrupted.

"You need to make her jealous, make her realise she wants you better than anyone else." She let out a slight purr, striding closer and closer to Sniper. "I can help you that."

* * *

She stood, barely moving, excluding the angry twitch in her eye.

That bitch! She though to herself, I though she was suppose to be my friend. Then her attention turned to Sniper.

One fucking situation where he suspected she liked the other Spy, and he starts snogging the bloody Pyro!

Son of a bitch!

* * *

"All 18 mercenaries are required to come to the bridge immediately." The Administrator's voice rang out. "Unarmed"

Beth sighed, she could have used a gun and a few unwilling targets right now, but she wasn't going to try to oppose the Administrator any time soon.

* * *

There she stood. The Administrator, in the flesh, a real person, not just a loud, annoying noise that ordered them around on the battlefield. She wore black heels and and a purple dress, and her lipstick seemed to match something in-between.

Spy had come to the conclusion that it was the most horrific thing he had ever seen, even worse than that time Scout had beat the previous RED Spy to a pulp while screaming something about leaving his Ma alone. Or maybe even as bad as that time he had been kept as a head in a fridge for a full week, with his only company being the hearts of a Mega Baboon and the Loch Ness Hamster.

Actually no, it wasn't as bad as that, especially after he ran out of cigarettes. He looked around, everyone was accounted for apart from RED Sniper and Pyro. Just as he started to contemplate where they could be, he spotted the marksman swaying around, falling over numerous crates and barrels and almost missing the bridge completely.  
Fortunate for him, Demo caught his arm just in time, guiding him over to the side before he could fall into the sewer. The Scotsman sighed, then muttered something along the lines of "That's wher tha scrumpy's gone..."

Pyro followed, her head now masked head held high and striding proudly. Spy noticed his RED counterpart shooting her a death glare that, if looks could kill, would have pierced her skull like a bullet.

Sniper was now, to the disgust of everyone else's disgust, vomiting over the side of the bridge. BLU Scout started to retch at the sound of vomit hitting the water and the stench that followed.

* * *

"Gentlemen," The Administrator said curtly, raising an eyebrow at the group, wondering whether that was the right word, considering they weren't really the exact definition of gentlemen, standing around in their pyjamas, which was incredibly always considering it was summer and BLU Heavy didn't have much on. Besides- one of them wasn't even male, and she wasn't sure about the Pyro of either side.

"I have called you here on the matter of the information collected from Engineer and Medic of the RED team. The information is that regarding this," she gestured to the sorry heap of battered metal lying on the floor beside her. "The Scout-bot." dull murmurs could be heard from the teams, the Scouts looking at each other with a confused expression, Scout bot?

"This robot has been responsible for several attacks on both teams over the last few weeks, but now we can come to a few conclusions. The first is that it wasn't built by any of you." A sigh of relief was released from the Engineers, who had been worried the blame would be put on them.

"We've also gained news of the Mann brothers. They've recently found their long-lost brother, Gray Mann. A few nights ago, he assassinated them. We also think he is the one powering the robots."  
A sudden uproar emerged from the crowd. No more Redmond meant no more RED, no more Blutarch meant no more BLU!

"There's an army of these robots coming from the north. They are each designed to replicate each one of you, so like there's the Scout-bot, there will also be Heavy-bots, Medic-bots, Spy-bots, etcetera. They will be here by Friday. And you are all fired." Before a second uproar began, she hurriedly added " but you will all be offered a job as protectors of Mann. Co. You can take it or leave it, it's up to you. Anyone who wants to leave can do so now, go to their rooms, pack their things, collect their final pay-check and go. No questions asked."

The teams pondered the idea for a bit, before she continued to speak.  
"One last thing, respawn is only registered if you are killed by anyone in this group. As we won't be able to get the data on every single robot, if you do out there you die for real." With that, the BLU Sniper stood up.

"Oi'm sorry guys, but oi have my family back home, and they need me. If oi died out here, they're a bit bloody stuck."  
Coward. The word hung in the air like a thick cloud of smog.

"BRUCE! Get back here you deserter! I will have you shot!" the BLU Soldier tried to chase his friend, but he pushed him away. A short shouting match burst put, but the Aussie just gave up and left, leaving Solly standing alone looking off into the distance.

"As I said." The Administrator began again, "Friday, that gives you three days. Do with them what you wish, they may be your last." She stood up straight and walked off, leaving the remaining seventeen mercenaries to bathe in uncomfortable silence, which was very rudely interrupted by more vomit.

* * *

BLU Spy sat on the bridge, which was now cleared of everyone but himself and the remaining Sniper. Luckily his stomach was settling, and he didn't have anything left to vomit, so he just sat there, leant over the bridge, coughing. Spy just sat their, his head in his hands, mulling over his thoughts.

He needed to apologise.

This thought surprised him, as apologising was never really his thing, he was a Spy after all, but it had been eating at his thoughts all evening.

"I might as well," he thought out loud, "We'll all be dead by the weekend."

And he was desperate to get the dirt on Pyro's plan, and what she could have done to get the evil glares from Beth. The next step of her plan must have been pretty bad.

But it was late, he could do it in the morning...

* * *

He awoke curled up on the bridge, while a foul taste lingered in his mouth. He looked around, and noticed a note, a glass of water and few pain killers.

The note read: "Leave the drinking to Demoman- BLU Medic"

Why would the BLU Medic be helping him? Then he remembered, they f were working together to protect Mann. Co from a giant horde of robots.

How do you forget something like that?

* * *

THUMP

Pyro stumbled into the wall with the force from her teammate's attacked.  
"What. The. Fuck." Beth snarled.  
"Ack!" the firebug groaned at the pain on her neck. "I can explain, just let me explain!" she croaked as loud as she could, which wasn't actually that loud as she had Spy's elbow to her windpipe.

"Go on then! Elaborate! Please tell me why you though face nomming with Sniper was a good idea?!" She was resisting the urge to use her knife to do something rather nasty, but her team didn't respond well to friendly fire, as Sniper had learnt the hard way. Half of the team tried to ignore him completely, while the other half just tried to keep their distance when possible.

"He killed my Sp- ack!- he fucking deserved it!"

Not good enough.

"Did you ever think about how that would effect me? Your friend?" She bared her teeth, an animalistic growl building at the back of her throat.

"Your Spy was out banging the BLU Scout's Ma on a regular basis! By the end, he was completely different to what you knew him as. The was changed him Pyro, it changed us all." The familiar accent alerted the brawling pair that Sniper was here, BLU Spy materialising behind him.

"How would you know this?" Pyro struggle out of Spy's chokehold and spat at Sniper.

"I knew him better than anybody else, you forget the two of us practically grew up together!"

"I feel I 'ave to apologise, I only said what I did yesterday because zhe Pyro set me up." he held his hands up in a manner that said 'I am a French man in a suit and I am sorry'.  
"I was in dire need of a new lighter."

In her moment of angry disbelief, she sent a merciless knee strike to her abdomen, causing Pyro to double over in pain.

She gave her one last kick for good measure, and walked away as quickly as she could.

The two male mercenaries tried to hurry after her, desperate to get her attention.

"Sheila, you alright?" Sniper called as he jogged behind her.

"Why should you care?" She abruptly stopped and turned, "You're all comfortable about getting close with Pyro aren't you?!" Sniper shook his head, trying to explain himself.

"Nah! I was askin' Pyro on how to win you back, after you got close to him," he gestured to Spy, who just looked at him with pure disgust. "She just jumped at me, I swear!"

She let out an agitated half groan, half scream.  
"There. Is. NOTHING. Between. Me. And. Spy. How many times do I need to tell you before you'll believe me?"

BLU Spy sighed.  
"Sniper needs to tell you somezing."

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, carefully choosing his next words.

"Oi'm leavin'. Oi'm gonna go back to Australia to see my parents, I haven't seen then for so long and this would be the perfect opportunity to get out of here." he looked, searching for an response of some sort. "We're not real fighters, Beth, we're use to being immortal, never dying for real. This is something completely different. It's out of our league. Oi don't want to die."

"So, vill you go wiz zhis _deserter_," he said the word with a sneer. "Or vill you fight with zhe rest of us?"

The two pairs of sharp, angry, possibly even sad eyes pierced her skin as stared, waiting for the response that refused to come out. Should she stay with her team, and fight for what she loved, or leave with the person she loved and abandon her team.

She just couldn't do that.  
"I'm gonna stay and mess up some robots."

* * *

**Ok so the bit that was in the teaser was changed a by, sudden flip in storyline. Sorry.**


	16. Another Authors Note

**Hello everyone! So I really don't want to write the last few chapters, as people die. And I don't want to kill characters I like. And I like them all! But I Have to finish it, for the 21 followers. Because meh. Also I'm rewriting it from the beginning, so tips for that would be appreciated. TIPS not horrific criticism. **

**Also I found Skyrim and Portal/2 so you can blame that for the long wait. **

**Thank you, sorry and good day to you all!**

**~MarvelsOnlyFan**


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